Month: September 2023

When I’m overwhelmed, I have this pervasive feeling of stress that I can’t let go of. It is like there is this weight on me, and even if I’m relaxing or doing something I enjoy, the weight is still there.

When I search for the cause of my stress, I can’t pinpoint the source. Sure, I’ve got a few things I’m worried about, and I may have many things that are going great…but I’m still overwhelmed.

When I feel this way, the one thing that always helps me is a technique I learned a few years back. It doesn’t take much time or much effort, but there is a cost. And the cost is $1.67.

When working with others, we often encounter people we find hard to understand. We try to connect with them, we try to influence them, and we try to understand why they do the things they do.

And yet, they remain a mystery. We can’t understand them, and if we can’t understand them we can’t communicate with them and support them, manage them, or influence them.

I’ve found a technique that has made me more effective as a coach and a leader. It is called, “The Elephant and the Rider”.

I was going to write a post this week on what it means to be nice vs kind, based on the work of Liane Davey, then I found that she has a video on the subject which would have been better than my perspective anyway.

Based on her work, and the book The Good Fight, I took away this key concept.

(these might be direct quotes, or a synthesis of what I heard in this podcast…either way these are ideas I’m working to integrate into my coaching practice.

“Nice is easy, kind takes candor. Kind is willing to make yourself uncomfortable for the benefit of someone else.”

We need more kind people in our lives. And we need to be more kind to those around us.